FA Cup Semi Final - Everton 1 The Shite 2 (Jelavic)

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FA Cup Semi Final - Everton 1 The Shite 2 (Jelavic)

Post  Barry Horne's Equaliser on Mon 09 Apr 2012, 5:04 pm

Tell me ma, me ma.

I can't even be bothered to mention our opponents by name, but we fucking owe these big time. After refereeing fuck ups at Goodison and a shit team selection at Analfield, this season's derby matches have been much worse than simply frustrating affairs. This is our opportunity to put it right and dump them well and truly on their arse.

Distin, Anichebe and Drenthe will score in the first twenty minutes and the racist will start to cry as he realises all of out goalscorers are black. He'll then be sent off for diving in the area, even though J5 was clearly punching out his goof on the first occasion, and Felli was clearly elbowing him in the goof on the second. Felli will then successfully sue for damages to his elbow and the racist will have no front teeth so no more damm building for him.

Once Hibbo has completed his perfect hat trick to make it 6-0, we'll take it easy and play out the last 60 minutes. Dirk Kuyt will miss a sitter and Gerrard and Bellamy will no longer be able to hide who they really are and will start gouging at one another.

COYB!


Last edited by Roy Stone Drenched on Sat 14 Apr 2012, 2:25 pm; edited 5 times in total

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Re: FA Cup Semi Final - Everton 1 The Shite 2 (Jelavic)

Post  mindyerEnvelopeMister? on Mon 09 Apr 2012, 5:05 pm

come on Blackburn Very Happy
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Re: FA Cup Semi Final - Everton 1 The Shite 2 (Jelavic)

Post  Barry Horne's Equaliser on Mon 09 Apr 2012, 5:07 pm

mindyerho? wrote:come on Blackburn Very Happy

Did I ever mention I have no end of respect for Blackburn? Come on you funny blue and white quartered shirt type team. cheers

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Re: FA Cup Semi Final - Everton 1 The Shite 2 (Jelavic)

Post  Made 4 Gwladys on Mon 09 Apr 2012, 5:07 pm

With a poetic intro like that it can only be 1878-0 to the blues
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Re: FA Cup Semi Final - Everton 1 The Shite 2 (Jelavic)

Post  Made 4 Gwladys on Mon 09 Apr 2012, 5:14 pm

Roy Stone Drenched wrote:
mindyerho? wrote:come on Blackburn Very Happy

Did I ever mention I have no end of respect for Blackburn? Come on you funny blue and white quartered shirt type team. cheers
Yakattack cheers
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Re: FA Cup Semi Final - Everton 1 The Shite 2 (Jelavic)

Post  mindyerEnvelopeMister? on Mon 09 Apr 2012, 5:24 pm

Made 4 Gwladys wrote:
Roy Stone Drenched wrote:
mindyerho? wrote:come on Blackburn Very Happy

Did I ever mention I have no end of respect for Blackburn? Come on you funny blue and white quartered shirt type team. cheers
Yakattack cheers

Come on Yak, you owe us. 2 goals, straight red for Scrotal and break Suarez leg please.....
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Re: FA Cup Semi Final - Everton 1 The Shite 2 (Jelavic)

Post  mindyerEnvelopeMister? on Mon 09 Apr 2012, 5:25 pm

just been on RAWK. 50% bricking it, 50% bravado.
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Re: FA Cup Semi Final - Everton 1 The Shite 2 (Jelavic)

Post  hairy cataract on Mon 09 Apr 2012, 5:57 pm

mindyerho? wrote:just been on RAWK. 50% bricking it, 50% bravado.

A RS dickhead comments:

I don't get how the FA work out these frigging fixtures, so Spurs, Chelsea and Everton play today and get 24hrs extra rest and we play tomorrow, hmmmm that make sense.

Someone tell this nobwipe that his team would have had another 24 hours rest if they hadn't pulled their usual "we can't possibly be expected to play on the anniversary of Hillsborough, though of course we're happy to play on the anniversary of Heysel except we can't actually remember when that is..".
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Re: FA Cup Semi Final - Everton 1 The Shite 2 (Jelavic)

Post  Blue gazza on Mon 09 Apr 2012, 6:09 pm

A real tester for us, we owe them big time
c'mon everton
do it in style
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Re: FA Cup Semi Final - Everton 1 The Shite 2 (Jelavic)

Post  mindyerEnvelopeMister? on Mon 09 Apr 2012, 6:22 pm

the jellyman wrote:A real tester for us, we owe them big time
c'mon everton
do it in style

I'd prefer us to win with a three-handball goal in the 130th minute, Webbs watch having been dropped and trodden on by Heitinga.

edit: or Humiliate them, and Stevie me walk off the field and punch KKK
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Re: FA Cup Semi Final - Everton 1 The Shite 2 (Jelavic)

Post  TD's Powder of Sympathy on Tue 10 Apr 2012, 12:29 am

Everton

Everton head into this game on a rich vein of form. At the back they are as solid as any team with a decent keeper, excellent options across the back four - the midfield is lead by the magnificent Fellaini, ably assisted by Gibson to give the back four additional security. Aside from Fellaini & Baines the creative spark will most likely come from Osman or Drenthe/Gueye. The clinical finishing of Jelavic who is dovetailing nicely with a somewhat rejuvenated Cahill can give Liverpool plenty to think about. Everton have more options to change things up with Drenthe/Gueye, Coleman, Anichebe & possibly Rodwell coming into the equation if need be.

Liverpool

Unusually for them there appear to be a number of questions to be answered. Not only have they lost Reina with a 3 match ban, forcing them to play a reserve keeper, Agger lacks match fitness, Carragher is struggling, doubts remain about the right back position. The midfield has, for the most part, been misfiring & up front doubts about who will partner Suarez remain.

This for me makes Everton favourites to progress. Tactically Moyes has been spot on in recent weeks with both excellent football & good results supporting this assumption. Meanwhile Liverpool seem riven by discontent on & off the field. Having said all that Liverpool are a "big match team" who tend to get results on the big stage & have, in the past, had Everton's number in many a big game. Why should this change then? Well, I believe this time round Everton are ready to win, Liverpool are not. This time round Everton want it - and want it badly. They have started to rediscover that winning habit & what better time & place to demonstrate this new found confidence against a team they badly want to turn over, on a stage that demands that sort of performance. The same mentality was shown at Sunderland in the replay - they carried the decent performance from the first cup tie into the replay & set about the task in the right manner. Furthermore the same can be said for every other game in recent weeks. Whilst Liverpool might have had Everton's "number" in these big games it's also true to add both that Everton were remarkably unlucky in some of these games & that it is fair to say Liverpool were an exceptionally good side (between 1971 & 1989 - the period of these big games) - that however can not be said in 2012 when, if anything, Everton are, seemingly, on the verge of better things whilst Liverpool are close to becoming mediocre in the extreme. Providing Everton can shackle Gerrard & win the midfield battle they have enough to edge this one.

Prediction: Everton 1 Liverpool 0 (Gibson)



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Liverpoole Echo Sun 12 March 1234: Euerton celebrate another drubbing of ye Shoite - quaffing muche Ale (Ye Spellowe, Blacke Horse, Wims Lowe (upstairs)) and spliffs & oft singing new chant "1,2 - 1,2,3 - 1,2,3,4 - 5-Nil." Big Dunkane (Bird Keeper of Euerton) was, yet again, sent-off by Judge Polle for landing several blows at head of serf James of Carreggore & Red Shoite Stephen Meelaar, Squire of Hitune fame who wed Ladie of The Night Alexa de Curraine and is wont to fight pubbe minstrels, was given an earlie dunking in Ye Mere of Stanlee Parke for an elbough to face of local serf Hibbeyrt. After being given ye olde clothe of vinegar by Rath-Boyne Hibbeyrt returned to scoreth fifth & finale goale past Ye Flying Pigge Thomas of Lawrence in Parke Ende - a riot followed. Euerton: Weste, Hibbeyrt, Wilsone, La Boyne, Mountyfielde, Balle, Kendel, Harveigh, Fergusaine, Latcheford, Deen of Tran Mere
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Re: FA Cup Semi Final - Everton 1 The Shite 2 (Jelavic)

Post  mindyerEnvelopeMister? on Tue 10 Apr 2012, 12:51 am

Toffee Dan wrote:Everton

Everton head into this game on a rich vein of form. At the back they are as solid as any team with a decent keeper, excellent options across the back four - the midfield is lead by the magnificent Fellaini, ably assisted by Gibson to give the back four additional security. Aside from Fellaini & Baines the creative spark will most likely come from Osman or Drenthe/Gueye. The clinical finishing of Jelavic who is dovetailing nicely with a somewhat rejuvenated Cahill can give Liverpool plenty to think about. Everton have more options to change things up with Drenthe/Gueye, Coleman, Anichebe & possibly Rodwell coming into the equation if need be.

Liverpool

Unusually for them there appear to be a number of questions to be answered. Not only have they lost Reina with a 3 match ban, forcing them to play a reserve keeper, Agger lacks match fitness, Carragher is struggling, doubts remain about the right back position. The midfield has, for the most part, been misfiring & up front doubts about who will partner Suarez remain.

This for me makes Everton favourites to progress. Tactically Moyes has been spot on in recent weeks with both excellent football & good results supporting this assumption. Meanwhile Liverpool seem riven by discontent on & off the field. Having said all that Liverpool are a "big match team" who tend to get results on the big stage & have, in the past, had Everton's number in many a big game. Why should this change then? Well, I believe this time round Everton are ready to win, Liverpool are not. This time round Everton want it - and want it badly. They have started to rediscover that winning habit & what better time & place to demonstrate this new found confidence against a team they badly want to turn over, on a stage that demands that sort of performance. The same mentality was shown at Sunderland in the replay - they carried the decent performance from the first cup tie into the replay & set about the task in the right manner. Furthermore the same can be said for every other game in recent weeks. Whilst Liverpool might have had Everton's "number" in these big games it's also true to add both that Everton were remarkably unlucky in some of these games & that it is fair to say Liverpool were an exceptionally good side (between 1971 & 1989 - the period of these big games) - that however can not be said in 2012 when, if anything, Everton are, seemingly, on the verge of better things whilst Liverpool are close to becoming mediocre in the extreme. Providing Everton can shackle Gerrard & win the midfield battle they have enough to edge this one.

Prediction: Everton 1 Liverpool 0 (Gibson)



bit lukewarm for you Dan..... Very Happy
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Re: FA Cup Semi Final - Everton 1 The Shite 2 (Jelavic)

Post  TD's Powder of Sympathy on Tue 10 Apr 2012, 1:13 am

Trying (hard) to be objective on this one..

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Liverpoole Echo Sun 12 March 1234: Euerton celebrate another drubbing of ye Shoite - quaffing muche Ale (Ye Spellowe, Blacke Horse, Wims Lowe (upstairs)) and spliffs & oft singing new chant "1,2 - 1,2,3 - 1,2,3,4 - 5-Nil." Big Dunkane (Bird Keeper of Euerton) was, yet again, sent-off by Judge Polle for landing several blows at head of serf James of Carreggore & Red Shoite Stephen Meelaar, Squire of Hitune fame who wed Ladie of The Night Alexa de Curraine and is wont to fight pubbe minstrels, was given an earlie dunking in Ye Mere of Stanlee Parke for an elbough to face of local serf Hibbeyrt. After being given ye olde clothe of vinegar by Rath-Boyne Hibbeyrt returned to scoreth fifth & finale goale past Ye Flying Pigge Thomas of Lawrence in Parke Ende - a riot followed. Euerton: Weste, Hibbeyrt, Wilsone, La Boyne, Mountyfielde, Balle, Kendel, Harveigh, Fergusaine, Latcheford, Deen of Tran Mere
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Re: FA Cup Semi Final - Everton 1 The Shite 2 (Jelavic)

Post  Statman on Tue 10 Apr 2012, 1:19 am

Toffee Dan wrote:Trying (hard) to be objective on this one..

There's a few days yet.
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Re: FA Cup Semi Final - Everton 1 The Shite 2 (Jelavic)

Post  Armchair on Tue 10 Apr 2012, 7:31 am

On paper, we'll stuff them. But you just know they'll get a dodgy decision given in their favour that will ruin the game.
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Re: FA Cup Semi Final - Everton 1 The Shite 2 (Jelavic)

Post  Mr_Ben on Tue 10 Apr 2012, 9:19 am

Well this kind of sums Everton up.

Playing fantastic football at present. In a rich vein of form. Scoring for fun. Felli playing like the best midfielder in Europe. The back 4 strong and defending well.

Liverpool, playing shite, can't score, can't pass.

2-0 to the shite. Unless we man mark Stevie G and, Saurez and Dick Kuyt.

Cunts.
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Re: FA Cup Semi Final - Everton 1 The Shite 2 (Jelavic)

Post  TD's Powder of Sympathy on Tue 10 Apr 2012, 10:44 am

The Semi Final & GN selections
1 Mucha Synchronised 7/1
2 Hibbert Ballabriggs 14/1
3 Baines Weird Al 40/1
4 Gibson Calgary Bay 33/1
5 Johnny Neptune Collonges 33/1
6 Jags Alfa Beat 40/1
7 Jelavic Planet of Sound 40/1
10 Royston Junior 12/1
11 Denis Chicago Grey 18/1
15 Distin Shakalakaboomboom 20/1
17 Cahill On His Own 16/1
18 Neville Always Right 28/1
19 Gueye Cappa Bleu 14/1
21 Osman Mon Mome 50/1
23 Coleman The Midnight Club 33/1
24 Howard Treacle 20/1
25 Fellaini Arbor Supreme 66/1
26 Rodwell SunnyhillBoy 33/1
27 Vellios Killyglen 16/1
28 Victor Quiscover Fontaine 50/1
34 Duffy Swing Bill 80/1

I like the sound of the following combinations:


7 Jelavic Planet of Sound 40/1 (at Wembley when he scores the winner)
15 Distin Shakalakaboomboom 20/1
17 Cahill On His Own 16/1 (& he slots it in the net)
18 Neville Always Right 28/1
19 Gueye Cappa Bleu 14/1
23 Coleman The Midnight Club 33/1 (Irish celebrations go on all night!)
24 Howard Treacle 20/1 (Treacle Toffee & cos everything will stick to him)

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Liverpoole Echo Sun 12 March 1234: Euerton celebrate another drubbing of ye Shoite - quaffing muche Ale (Ye Spellowe, Blacke Horse, Wims Lowe (upstairs)) and spliffs & oft singing new chant "1,2 - 1,2,3 - 1,2,3,4 - 5-Nil." Big Dunkane (Bird Keeper of Euerton) was, yet again, sent-off by Judge Polle for landing several blows at head of serf James of Carreggore & Red Shoite Stephen Meelaar, Squire of Hitune fame who wed Ladie of The Night Alexa de Curraine and is wont to fight pubbe minstrels, was given an earlie dunking in Ye Mere of Stanlee Parke for an elbough to face of local serf Hibbeyrt. After being given ye olde clothe of vinegar by Rath-Boyne Hibbeyrt returned to scoreth fifth & finale goale past Ye Flying Pigge Thomas of Lawrence in Parke Ende - a riot followed. Euerton: Weste, Hibbeyrt, Wilsone, La Boyne, Mountyfielde, Balle, Kendel, Harveigh, Fergusaine, Latcheford, Deen of Tran Mere
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Re: FA Cup Semi Final - Everton 1 The Shite 2 (Jelavic)

Post  VenezuelaBlue on Tue 10 Apr 2012, 5:23 pm

An omen ???



"A Hundred Years Ago Today..." well, come Saturday and to paraphrase Sgt Pepper

Cheer up RS. It can happen to the best of us. Clinging the Carling Cup will only make you sink faster
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Re: FA Cup Semi Final - Everton 1 The Shite 2 (Jelavic)

Post  notepad on Tue 10 Apr 2012, 10:42 pm

Just so you know....we are going to slaughter those Donkeys on Saturday!!! COYB!!! FTRS!!!
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Re: FA Cup Semi Final - Everton 1 The Shite 2 (Jelavic)

Post  Michael Crosby S74 on Wed 11 Apr 2012, 10:17 am

That keeper of theirs looks like a flapper.

My team would be

Howard

Hibbert
Distin
Heitinga
Baines

Gueye
Fellaini
Gibson
Osman

Cahill

Jelavic


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Re: FA Cup Semi Final - Everton 1 The Shite 2 (Jelavic)

Post  RhinoJagz on Wed 11 Apr 2012, 10:55 am

Michael Crosby S74 wrote:That keeper of theirs looks like a flapper.

My team would be

Howard

Hibbert
Distin
Heitinga
Baines

Gueye
Fellaini
Gibson
Osman

Cahill

Jelavic


Id take that. Moyes probably won't trust Drenthe from the start but his absence has made that decision from him anyway. Gueye is full of confidence so let him carry on. Drenthe to come on if game gets stretched. Neville over Hibbo is the only other decision to make really. The rest of the team picks itself. It will be tough on Jags but Distin & Heitinga haven't done anything to suggest they can be dropped.

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Re: FA Cup Semi Final - Everton 1 The Shite 2 (Jelavic)

Post  Super on Wed 11 Apr 2012, 10:56 am

The Premier League have reportedly stated that Liverpool are not eligible to apply to sign a goalkeeper on an emergency loan basis for this weekend's FA Cup semi-final against Everton.

The Reds have been hit with a goalkeeping crisis after second-choice keeper Alexander Doni was sent off during Liverpool's 3-2 win over Blackburn Rovers last night.

With Pepe Reina due to serve the third and final game of his suspension for the trip to Wembley, third-ranked goalkeeper Brad Jones, who saved a penalty from Yakubu on his first touch in last night's clash, is expected to fill the slot.

Reports have claimed that if the Merseyside club try to apply for an emergency loan they will be refused on the grounds that the policy only comes into action for injury reasons as opposed to suspensions.

It is believed that Kenny Dalglish will start with Australian Jones, choosing between teenage keepers Danny Ward and Tyrell Belford for the reserve spot.
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Re: FA Cup Semi Final - Everton 1 The Shite 2 (Jelavic)

Post  TD's Powder of Sympathy on Wed 11 Apr 2012, 11:10 am

Everton 1 Titanic Liverpool 0

_________________
Liverpoole Echo Sun 12 March 1234: Euerton celebrate another drubbing of ye Shoite - quaffing muche Ale (Ye Spellowe, Blacke Horse, Wims Lowe (upstairs)) and spliffs & oft singing new chant "1,2 - 1,2,3 - 1,2,3,4 - 5-Nil." Big Dunkane (Bird Keeper of Euerton) was, yet again, sent-off by Judge Polle for landing several blows at head of serf James of Carreggore & Red Shoite Stephen Meelaar, Squire of Hitune fame who wed Ladie of The Night Alexa de Curraine and is wont to fight pubbe minstrels, was given an earlie dunking in Ye Mere of Stanlee Parke for an elbough to face of local serf Hibbeyrt. After being given ye olde clothe of vinegar by Rath-Boyne Hibbeyrt returned to scoreth fifth & finale goale past Ye Flying Pigge Thomas of Lawrence in Parke Ende - a riot followed. Euerton: Weste, Hibbeyrt, Wilsone, La Boyne, Mountyfielde, Balle, Kendel, Harveigh, Fergusaine, Latcheford, Deen of Tran Mere
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Re: FA Cup Semi Final - Everton 1 The Shite 2 (Jelavic)

Post  tadpole on Wed 11 Apr 2012, 11:13 am

Bluejags wrote:
Michael Crosby S74 wrote:That keeper of theirs looks like a flapper.

My team would be

Howard

Hibbert
Distin
Heitinga
Baines

Gueye
Fellaini
Gibson
Osman

Cahill

Jelavic


Id take that. Moyes probably won't trust Drenthe from the start but his absence has made that decision from him anyway. Gueye is full of confidence so let him carry on. Drenthe to come on if game gets stretched. Neville over Hibbo is the only other decision to make really. The rest of the team picks itself. It will be tough on Jags but Distin & Heitinga haven't done anything to suggest they can be dropped.

I think Neville will get the nod, but i'd prefer Hibbert, little bit pacier. Equally at CB Distin didn't feature at the weekend, suggests he's a shoe horn in there and after the last Derby its got to be JH over Jags.

Coleman over Gueye, maybe?
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Re: FA Cup Semi Final - Everton 1 The Shite 2 (Jelavic)

Post  Tonteau on Wed 11 Apr 2012, 11:25 am

tadpole wrote:
Bluejags wrote:
Michael Crosby S74 wrote:That keeper of theirs looks like a flapper.

My team would be

Howard

Hibbert
Distin
Heitinga
Baines

Gueye
Fellaini
Gibson
Osman

Cahill

Jelavic


Id take that. Moyes probably won't trust Drenthe from the start but his absence has made that decision from him anyway. Gueye is full of confidence so let him carry on. Drenthe to come on if game gets stretched. Neville over Hibbo is the only other decision to make really. The rest of the team picks itself. It will be tough on Jags but Distin & Heitinga haven't done anything to suggest they can be dropped.

I think Neville will get the nod, but i'd prefer Hibbert, little bit pacier. Equally at CB Distin didn't feature at the weekend, suggests he's a shoe horn in there and after the last Derby its got to be JH over Jags.

Coleman over Gueye, maybe?

Think Coleman's looked a bit clueless recently...moreso than usual. Think he needs a run of games in order to get more settled.

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Re: FA Cup Semi Final - Everton 1 The Shite 2 (Jelavic)

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